| Trying to come to grips with death is a process that | | | | you and your child with a professional counsellor. |
| will affect every person differently, and never gets | | | | Let your child see your pain. One mistake that many |
| easier as one gets older. That said, children will | | | | parents make is trying to be strong for the sake of |
| always react differently to death than adults; | | | | your child. This sends a couple of different messages, |
| depending on age, a child may not even have a real | | | | depending on the child. Possibly the most damaging is |
| concept of what death is. It is therefore quite a bit | | | | that emotions must be borne silently; a child will try |
| more difficult for parents to help a child deal with | | | | to emulate a “strong” parent and may start |
| death, particularly when the death is that of a loved | | | | to view normal grieving as weakness. It is important |
| one in your child’s life. | | | | not to hide your sorrow from your child in order to |
| Because of the different methods of understanding | | | | help him or her express her own. |
| and dealing with death that are not only unique to | | | | Never jump to hasty conclusions. For children, the |
| the individual child, his or her relationship with the | | | | grieving process may mean a change in behaviour; in |
| person who has passed, and his or her age, there is | | | | fact some adults may see a child’s reactions |
| no blanket solution that can be offered during the | | | | while coping as misbehaviours. It is very important to |
| grieving process. Instead, we will seek to put | | | | understand that many children work through their |
| forward some general guidelines that may help both | | | | emotion at this time in a way that adults cannot |
| you and your child as you cope with the loss. | | | | interpret, and need to be talked to, not punished, |
| Do not withdraw. In many cases the death of the | | | | when unusual behaviour is observed. |
| loved one will not only directly affect your child but | | | | These are just a few important guidelines when it |
| you as well. In these cases, it is very important to | | | | comes to helping your child deal with the death of a |
| try as hard as possible to remember that you are still | | | | loved one. Some parents will find that working |
| a parent, and that your child does need you. Do not | | | | through the process together can be healing to both |
| withdraw into your own pain so much that you leave | | | | themselves and their children; it is very important |
| your child feeling abandoned. If you are finding this | | | | that your child understands that you are there for |
| almost impossible, it might be a good idea to connect | | | | them during this stressful time. |